Negative Core Beliefs

Imagine you are at a party and see someone across the room that looks interesting. In your mind, you want to go up to them and introduce yourself, but then something stops you… and that thing is your thoughts.  Suddenly, a rush of negativity hits, and it sounds like “I’ll have nothing good to say,” “they wont want to talk to me,” “I’m going to mess it up.”  You decide to look away and hope they didn’t notice you staring.                     

Negative core beliefs can be to blame.

Core beliefs are one’s deepest sentiments of themselves, others, and the world they live in.  They create the lens that we see life through. Even if a core belief is not true, it still affects our personal world. Therefore, harmful core beliefs can be especially difficult to live with. In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, it is stated that ones thoughts directly impact their feelings and behavior.

So, going back to our example, if you hold a core belief that you are incapable, you are far less likely to have the confidence to go up to someone you don’t know at party. This may lead to the thought “see, you can’t do it,” leaving a feeling of depression. You continue the cycle, reinforcing the belief that you are incapable. 

People are not born with core beliefs; they are learned (see neuroplasticity). These deep beliefs we hold are usually developed in childhood, or during stressful or traumatic times.  Additionally, any evidence that contradicts core beliefs is often dismissed, due to the deep-rooted nature. 

Core beliefs tend to be rigid and long-standing. However, they can be changed. I often say that the key to therapy is awareness. Uncovering negative core beliefs gives us a chance to challenge them. So often, we go about our busy lives and don’t take the time to check in with ourselves and explore what is causing our feelings. Setting time aside to understand why we feel the way we do is a powerful tool in choosing what lens we want to look through.

Understanding that you have the core belief “I’m not capable” gives you the chance to challenge it. You can know where that belief came from, and why it is not true. Improving your core belief system through therapy means that in that moment at the party, you will be able to say, “I am capable.”